


The Final Frontier

by wasagi



Category: Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Avengers Movies Universe, The Avengers (2012), The Avengers - All Fandoms
Genre: Angst, Drama, Humor, Humour, M/M, Romance, Superhusbands, Thriller
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-08-16
Updated: 2012-08-26
Packaged: 2017-11-12 06:09:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/487584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wasagi/pseuds/wasagi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The portal was closed, the Earth was saved and Iron Man lives – but what happens if Tony Stark wasn’t the only thing that slipped through?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to those lovely people who tolerated me over the past week when I was writing this (Mainly: [Astrophe](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Astrophe)), Steph, Fran and [kepteinen](http://archiveofourown.org/users/kepteinen/pseuds/kepteinen)) . I really do not know how I’m not hiding from a little red dot right now - and I hope this fic does the Marvelverse some justice :). Enjoy!

_It didn’t take long for the panic to set in as he felt water wrap around his body and pull him further from the surface. Tony knew - and you didn’t have to be a genius to know - that he didn’t have a lot of time (in fact, time, oxygen or energy) left until the other shoe dropped. Looking back at his feet, he tugged in a final effort to pull himself free of the invisible coils. But again, his efforts were for naught._

_It seemed that all hope was lost. The light of the surface looked bleak, impossible to reach - he did the math and with the current variables, and unless an external force acted on him to help him launch himself to the surface he wouldn’t make it in time. God, he wished he had his suit._

_Tony mentally sighed as he shut his eyes. ‘So now ends the legend of Tony Stark, the man of Iron,’ he thought. The genius, billionaire, playboy philanthropist who had just saved the world from an alien invasion brought on by a manic with reindeer horns. Some way to go. He didn’t even know where the hell he was._

“Sir?”

_A voice broke through the silence making the engineer frown. It was familiar... JARVIS? No...it couldn’t be. It had to be a hallucination. It didn’t make any sense._

“Sir.” the voice said more firmly.

_Okay, so it wasn’t a hallucination._

“Delta waves beginning to fluctuate erratically. Heart rate accelerating. Initiating Protocol DN-949,” the voice said again.

_Tony’s eyes snapped open and to his horror, the water began to warp, becoming more viscous and oil-like. His heart began to race as he felt what was left of the oxygen in him being squeezed out. His vision began to fail as the dark liquid began to consume him, blind him._

_Suddenly, flashes! An ear-splitting screech - the sound of metal on metal. Screaming, and brief bursts of electric blue, his arc reactor glowing eerily, and a voice roaring in an unknown language. It was too much to take in at once. Tony tried to scream, cry out, anything, but just swallowed the ooze. He could taste the tang of metal as it surged into his body. Burrs scraped along his insides leaving painful, burning trails behind them. Tony convulsed, clenching his fists and gritting his teeth. He squeezed his eyes shut and let out a growl of pain._

_And then it stopped._

_He felt his stomach lurch as something began to pull him up. The force pushed hard against his body as he was propelled out of the hellhole. It was like he was in some kind of vortex. His vision tunneled, thin lines of light darting away from him._

Tony sat upright and regretted the movement instantly. That was not a good idea. Tumbling out of bed he made a dash for the bathroom. He was going to-

So, he didn’t manage to make it to the toilet...the sink however was the next best thing!

Tony turned the faucet on, cupped a handful of water and wet his face. He then studied his reflection. God, did he look terrible. Hair slicked back from perspiration, shadows under his eyes, it looked like death was upon him.

Propping his hands on the side of the table he leant forward slightly and swore under his breath. _‘Another one of those nightmares,’_ he thought as he stared at his arms. Despite the position he was in, he could still feel himself shaking. Tearing his gaze away from his arms and taking great interest in his collection of colognes, instead he blew out a long breath. A nice hot shower would do him good, he thought.

“Thanks, JARVIS,” he said softly. But really, who was he trying to kid? Tony knew he really wasn’t in a good place right now.

“You’re welcome, sir. However, might I suggest speaking to the other members of the Avengers Initiative of this recurring problem? Perhaps Dr. Banner, or any agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.?” The AI asked with a hint of concern in his voice.

He glanced furtively at the command board at the door. “No, no, not necessary,” he replied hurriedly. “No need to worry them.”

“What was I thinking? You’re usually correct about things involving your personal health, Sir,” the AI returned dryly.

Tony twisted to face the command board, leaning casually on one elbow. “Like I said before, contrary to popular belief, I know what I’m doing.” A tired smile crept up on his face. As much as it was fun to go a few rounds of verbal boxing with JARVIS, he really was exhausted. And from the silence that followed after his response, it seemed JARVIS picked up on the slight fluctuation in his voice patterns.

Tony quickly undressed, set his normal shower settings and stepped in. The hot water was welcoming on his skin, soothing his sore muscles. Tony stood there and allowed himself to be doused by the high pressure water jets, and he finally felt himself relax. That was one _hell_ of a nightmare. Tony’d had his fair share. It wasn’t uncommon for the man to have consecutive restless nights in the company of memories he’d attempted to repress - the constant reminders of what happened during his not-so-awesome time in Afghanistan. Drowning and suffocation were old friends, and occasionally there’d be times when he could feel the pain of ghost-shards slowly making their way into his heart... But the black ooze? The visions? They were new, different, and not the kind of different he liked. Tony didn’t know why, but it seemed so vivid, so real. It was more real than any other dream he’d ever experienced, and that terrified him.

Of course, Tony tried to ignore it and push it to the back of his head, but it wasn’t so easy. Sure, he could focus on his tech - analyse the schematics of everything that made Stark Tower his baby, or play with a few numerical methods and theories (because calculus was fun, no matter what anyone said), but the nightmares would always wriggle in the back of his mind and no amount of coffee, mind numbing ethanol or world-changing project could shake them off.

His way of coping with the nightmares hadn’t gone over well with Pepper, nor the other variables in his life. The stress had finally gotten to the redhead. Running the company, and then running to the man who owned the company after twelve hour shifts wasn’t a compatible mixture. He found that out a few months ago.

_“Tony I love you, but this...the stress, worrying whether or not you’re actually going to come back alive - and even when you do you look like you’ve gone through hell and back and I can’t take it. I love you but it’s just too much...I just...I’m sorry Tony.”_ He could understand where she was coming from. Really, she deserved better. But that didn’t stop it from sucking. Or hurting. A lot. He always did prefer the company of machines. People worrying and all those not-so-fun expressions of human emotions for him, were the primary reasons why he’d rather deal with his problems himself. It probably didn’t help the relationship that he was isolating himself from the human world a little more. Although in his defense, this time it was for Pepper. The look on her face, her eyes, the way her skin paled and her body trembled when she’d shaken him awake when the nightmares first began... It was more than enough to fuel his actions.

So he was alone. Again. Kind of... Well, not really. Pepper was still his CEO, friend and part time PA (she was right in saying he wouldn’t last a week without her). It was weird at first - being ‘friends’, ‘work colleagues’ - and not being able to just... take her hands in his or trail his fingers against her waist... But he managed. Alcohol was good company and when he was out of the workshop, surprisingly, so were the rest of the Avengers Initiative (Happy and Rhodey too, of course). They were an acquired taste - thankfully, though, Tony was all about acquired tastes. He’d have to agree with Banner - they were a complex molecule, unlikely elements somehow (God knows how) covalently bonded by chaos and curiosity. And Tony, being Tony, loved it - what could he say? He hadn’t played with his chemistry set in a while. He liked Banner, and although the feelings weren’t necessarily mutual, he got along with the rest of them well enough too - even the Captain.

The star spangled man with a plan seemed to tolerate Tony more after the Chitauri’s failed invasion. It was probably because Tony did what he normally did - prove people wrong. Given, he really hadn’t expected to survive the incident, but the whole living thing was a bonus in itself. Some people would say he had a destructive personality, that he was unstable because of the little value he gave his own life. But if it was all the same to them, he’d rather not be the reason why there was a giant crater where Manhattan once was (on multiple occasions). It was him being responsible!

Tony’s stomach punched itself. Fuel. Fuel was a good idea. He wondered if they had some leftover pizza? If he left it much longer he would have abdominal bruising... After all, he had just recently expelled what he had eaten in the past eight hours. Turning the knobs of the shower he dried himself off, and then quickly got changed and headed off to the kitchen.

Ah... Pizza. Yes, pizza would be perfect. Much as he loved high class eating, there was no denying that Tony was an engineer and so foods that were efficient, i.e. high energy, quick to eat, easy to access in godforsaken hours and probably extremely bad for you were his favourite - most of which required paying an almighty boon to a machine. It brought back memories of him in the MIT computer labs, slurping on some cup noodles and waiting for the loops in his code to finally stop and give him those glorious numbers he so needed to get his already well deserved degree (he’d often leave the assignments last minute, getting distracted with his own personal projects and endeavours).

Tony paused upon entering the kitchen. “Huh, fancy seeing you here, Cap,” he said, mildly surprised to see any other human being awake at - he glanced at the clock - three in the morning. “Couldn’t sleep?” He asked as he made a beeline to the coffee machine.

“That’s part of the reason...” Steve began, folding the newspaper and placing it on the table in front of him. Tony didn’t like where this was going. He could already feel Steve’s eyes boring at the back of his head.

“Stark.”

“Yes, Cap?”

“What’s going on with you? No one has properly seen you in two weeks. Pepper’s worrying about you - we all are, you’ve been ignoring Fury’s calls-”

“Well maybe he should think twice before pretending Phil’s dead,” Tony said, rather stiffly.

“It can’t still be about that.”

“It’s not about that.”

“...Then is this about Pepper?” Steve said, his voice a little softer and a little more hesitant.

Tony laughed as he poured himself a mug of coffee and turned to look at Steve. “This has nothing to do with my relationship,or lack thereof, with Pepper.” Before the blond could interrupt, he continued. “Look, really I’m fine. Seriously. I have an idea - you won’t understand, it’s all machine component designs and material selection and things that are powered by some form of electricity...” He smirked a little, noticing the slight scowl on Steve’s face. “...and it won’t go away until I make it happen so... making it happen. Now as much as I’d love to stay and chat and talk about my dad and how awesome he is, I’ve got things to build and Dummy to attend to.”

There was a pause of silence before Steve spoke, hesitant, “Do you want any company?”

Tony walked over and patted Steve’s shoulder. “You don’t have the clearance, Cap, and having been out of the ice for only a few months, I don’t exactly trust you with my tech just yet.” Looking up at the man for a brief moment, Tony noticed a plate of leftover pizza wrapped up behind him. Score.

“Oh...alright.” There was a flash of disappointment in Steve’s eyes. Yeah, Tony felt like a bit of a jerk. But there was a reason, or so he argued with himself. It was a bit harsh, but he’d rather not let anyone - especially Steve - in his workshop just yet, or know what was really going on. In a fluid movement he grabbed the plate, gave the Captain a pat on the back and winked. “See you later, Cap!” He was off to his workshop before Steve could say anything else.

Tony headed straight towards the main rig in the workshop and clicked his fingers. “Alright JARVIS, break’s over, let’s see how my meat suit’s going,” he said, rolling his shoulders as he watched the lights appear around him. “So what’ve we found out?”

Images of Tony’s DNA, blood samples and various test results were brought up through the interface. “Sir, there doesn’t appear to be any significant irregularities in the test results. The increase in gamma radiation levels can be assumed to have been a result of the incidents in the Helicarrier as well as during the battle in Manhattan against the Chitauri. Exposure levels seem low risk, especially in comparison to Dr. Banner. Exposure seems to be steadily climbing at a normal rate given Sir’s recent activities.”

Bars appeared displaying Tony’s radiation exposure over the past years. This year’s having a significant jump, however, like JARVIS said - nothing too serious. “Jump’s understandable given what happened...” He muttered to himself, his fingers drumming against the arc reactor as he spun to the left and right on his chair. “JARVIS, note there need to be alterations in the composition of the Gold-Titanium alloy. We’ll need to increase the density and thus reduce the risk of exposure to gamma radiation whilst still maintaining the appropriate strength to weight ratio. Tell me, do we have the materials to synthesise vibranium?”

“The materials would be difficult to acquire, and the synthesis of vibranium was thought to be statistically impossible. However...” There was a brief pause. “Sir always has a habit of doing the statistically impossible.”

“JARVIS, you’re such a charmer. I didn’t know you had it in you,” Tony said, a small grin on his face.

“I learn from the best, Sir.”

Tony chuckled as he made a sweeping motion with his hand. The radiation files that were in front of him were replaced with graphs and EEG reports. “Don’t need to be told what’s going on here.” He leant forward a bit. “That looks ugly...prognosis, JARVIS?”

“I would suggest sleep and regular balanced meals, but Sir doesn’t need to be told the obvious. Or what he won’t adhere to.”

“Words can hurt people JARVIS, words can hurt people.” Tony feigned a hurt expression, putting his hand on top of the arc reactor.

“My primary function is only to help Sir, whether it be rendering the Mark VIII, maintaining order in the house or caring for Sir’s well being. That which includes reminding Sir of his - as Ms Romanoff has reported - ‘erratic and dangerous behaviour’,” The AI replied.

Tony paused for a brief moment. “...Point.” He simply said, his fingers starting to drum on the casing of his arc reactor again. “Alright, next course of action?”

“Unfortunately my parameters are restricted - even with access to the world’s best medical publications.”

The engineer frowned as he looked at the holographic screens surrounding him, making sweeping motions with his hands once more as he read through his personal data. He then paused, stopping at an image of the arc reactor as he suddenly felt his heart tighten for a brief moment, recalling the nightmare. He grabbed the image and enlarged it, spinning the model slowly in his hands. “Without more data, we can’t run any more tests or further our investigations...” He muttered, eyes fixated on the synthesised vibranium triangle at the reactor’s centre. “JARVIS?”

“Sir?”

“Keep running bi-weekly tests on radiation levels, put it with the standard physical tests we do. Keep the details in my private server. We’ll let nature take its course for now.” He grimaced slightly. He thought he’d never have to say that before.

“Very well, radiation level testing has been added to the schedule.”

“Good, now that’s over and done with, onto bigger and better things that make a lot more physical sense.” Sweeping the files into a folder as he got up and headed to the charging stations. “Alright, everyone up! We’ve got work to do. JARVIS, lights. Dummy, come here, you’re on fire safety again. If there is no fire and you do try to douse me,I’m going to turn you into a tie rack.” The robot dipped its head and whirred despondently as it followed Tony. “You, Butterfingers, I need you guys to help me with refurbishing the place - again. Daddy needs a new suit.”

***

Tony always enjoyed field testing - especially if given his desired parameters. So when an A.I.M. agent had decided to have the not-so-advanced idea to take on the Avengers, the engineer was beyond elated. Tony ducked, dived and rolled in the air, eyes glancing at the stats on his suit between his attacks.

“Flight stability has increased by 25%, vibration due to motions decreased by 30% and shock resistance has improved by 100%. As expected, the Vibranium enhancement has given significantly better results compared to Sir’s prior suits.”

“Tell me again why I didn’t do this earlier, JARVIS?” Tony asked as he stopped in mid-air and began scoping the area - visuals of the Avengers team and A.I.M. robots appearing on his HUD. They weren’t doing too bad, Clint’s new magnetic pulse arrows (courtesy of Tony) obliterated any incoming bots, Natasha ‘widow’s bite’ and Thor’s thunder and hammer of justice ceased their operation, Steve sliced bot-heads off, and Bruce...well, the Hulk did what he did best - smash. Unfortunately, the A.I.M. agent behind it all was nowhere to be found (but that wasn’t his problem. Hell, Natasha probably already called dibs on them).

“According to the collected data it has been projected that the continued synthesis of vibranium for further suits would have depleted the earth of its iron deposits by the year 2036. This would not result in a positive response from the rest of civilisation,” the AI answered.

“I see your point. You know, Stark Industries should consider space expeditions. Think of the new materials JARVIS-” Tony paused, something black flashed across the HUD. He blinked and tapped the temple of his helmet. “JARVIS?”

“Sir?”

“A.I.M. signals screwing with my visuals?” He asked. “Very unlike you to be compromised. I’m more disappointed than concerned.”

There was a pause. “...I have no record of any interference, or going offline, Sir.”

Tony frowned. _Okay, not good. Not good at all._ That was practically impossible. If JARVIS hadn’t sensed anything in his physical surroundings...and if it wasn’t interference...then...a familiar feeling slowly started to take over. _Oh, God no. Not again._ Tony’s eyes widened. Black! Everything was going black! He could feel the panic setting in again as everything began to disappear.

“Sir?” JARVIS’ voice was beginning to warp. His senses were beginning to disappear, one by one. Sense of smell? Gone. Sight? Failing at an increasing rate. Touch? Fading as his body began to grow numb...

“STARK!” Another voice from his comm snapped Tony back to reality. His vision came back to him instantly - and he realised he was falling headfirst into the ground. He was accelerating at such a speed that from that height, the possibility of even reaching terminal velocity before contact was slim to none. “JARVIS! Emergency thrusters!”

“Activating emergency thrusters.”

Another quick series of beeps and whirrs and Tony was quickly able to turn to do a U-maneuver, the chest of his suit briefly scraping the ground in the process. “Whoa! What the hell?!”

His comms exploded with the worried voices of his teammates. Tony shook his head roughly before answering them all. “Just a little interference problem, I’m fine, it’s fixed - you know for a high tech criminal organisation, their tech isn't very advanced. Cap, I'm disappointed. You said this was going to be a challenge."

_"Tony..."_

Well, shit. Cap rarely used his first name. This didn’t bode well at all. Tony changed the topic back to their main concern - the army of terribly mechanised, hive-minded robots (their circuitry was so _ugly_ ). "Alright, quick scope of the schematics, and if I'm right - which I always am in these cases - that means that if we find the momma-bot and take her out, we win. Easy. Now let’s all try to find the most ostentatious bot out there."

“Sir.” There were a few warning beeps and Tony barely dodged an arrow. His comm-link switched to Clint. “...Well...you said most ostentatious.”

Tony couldn’t help but grin a little before he switched to his comm.“Barton, you’re a bastard. If you scratch my suit I’ll make sure that every alarm in the house is linked to my personal music collection. In fact, I’ll just re-route everything to my own personal music collection.” The engineer then heard some grumbling, a ‘fuck you, Stark’ and static. Barton had switched his comm line off.

“Hrm, I don’t think they’re too happy right now.” He really was in trouble.

“Very astute observation, Sir,” the AI replied.

He’d deal with it later. At that thought Iron Man flew through the streets of Manhattan, taking out the bots in his way before flying high into the air once more. It didn’t take long for him to find the mother of them all. The only problem was that she was surrounded by a sea of her bot-children. It was a minor issue really, easily resolved. “JARVIS, link me up to our illustrious leader.” There was a brief pause before text began to appear on his HUD.

**[Connecting comm-link with AvengersInitiative_001: Captain_America – Steve_Rogers…]**

**[Connection Established]**

“Iron Man! You found it?” Steve asked, not completely attentive to the comm-link – obviously mid-battle. Tony heard the sound of his shield crunching against a robot (probably its face, he swear he heard it scream). That didn’t sound pleasant at all. “Yeah, she’s up on fourth with the rest of the kids.” He responded. “JARVIS is analysing the schematics of ‘The Mother’ now.”

**[Subject: A.I.M._Robot – ‘The_Mother’ – Power Level 8 – Material Analysis Pending… – Power Analysis Pending…]**

**[Material Analysis: 60% Ti-6Al-4V alloy 20% Carbon Fibre Reinforced Polymer 10% Other Polymer Varieties – 10% Unknown]** – Well that made things mildly interesting.

**[Power Analysis: Electromagnetic Energy Found and Increasing - Radiation Levels: High - Thermal Energy: Found and Increasing Rapidly ]**

“Scratch what I said about poor mechanics. This one’s pretty good, better than I anticipated, standard choice in materials…But...You know what? I don’t care what you guys say, I’m taking some of it home as a souven-” His HUD flashed red and JARVIS cut through.

“I apologise Sir, but there appears to be seismic forces acting on the focused area.”

“Okay, not good.”

“What’s not good?” Steve sounded mildly concerned.

“We’re about to find out what that combination of electromagnetic and thermal energy does with A.I.M.’s mystery material,” Tony answered, his body somewhat tingling in anticipation. Half of him was eager, curious, and the other half was just a little bit terrified (thankfully civilians were evacuated, and it seemed none of the Avengers were close to the vicinity to get affected by the hypothesised damage area).

The buildings around them began to shake as the ground rumbled. There was a high pitched whirring sound coming from the ‘The Mother’. Electrical blue energy began to form at the mouth of the robot. It hummed dangerously, growing larger and larger by the second. Tony frowned, he did not like what was happening at all.

**[WARNING: Launch Imminent]**

“JARVIS! Get everything you can from that! I need its energy signals now!” Tony cried out as he flew up into the air.

**[Power Level: Unidentifiable - Blast Radius: 1.5 Kilometers - Probability of Contact: 96.8%]**

**[Power Levels Increasing…50%...70%...75%...83%...]**

He looked at his options, mind racing as he flew higher and higher. Flares would be useless. This wasn’t heat seeking, and it would probably just absorb the little heat they expelled. Repulsors covered too little surface area, the unibeam would drain his power and he’d fall into a horde of angry baby-bots. Things were not looking good.

Then he heard the blast. Tony looked back to see the energy beam shooting forward, the sounds resonating in the air. He stopped in mid air. “FUCK IT! FIRE EVERYTHING!”

“Initiating protocol: #&!@ it. Fire everything.”

Everything went off. It was insane. He had to thank past-Tony’s brilliant idea of having a ‘total freak out’ protocol as well as having the brilliant idea of vibranium-plating. Even if it didn’t completely match the power of the mother-bot, it definitely packed a punch that just so happened to create a wave of energy with enough force to catapult him into a building - or a few. Paying for collateral damage wasn’t going to be fun – if he survived this (which he knew he most certainly would – his HUD displayed the Avengers moving very quickly to his location and the plating on his armor had managed to absorb/resist most of the shock.), S.H.I.E.L.D. was going to kill him. He broke a fairly large portion of Manhattan (mind you, it wasn’t _entirely_ his fault, the Mother-bot was half to blame, in fact, completely to blame).

Tony finally crashed to a halt, his ears ringing and head pounding. Everything ached. The man tried to move, wriggle out from under the debris but he was starting to lose focus. It was only a matter of time before his world went black yet again.

\---

“Thor! Light those bots up! Hulk! Destroy the robot controlling them! Smash it to pieces! Hawkeye! We need a visual on Iron Man! Black Widow! You’ve got the A.I.M. agent!” Captain America ordered as he jumped over the bodies of broken robots, dodging shrapnel that flew everywhere as ‘The Mother’ began to go haywire from the force of the blast, somehow managing to survive and still be somewhat semi-operational.

The last time they saw Iron Man was a fraction of a second before he was absorbed by the blast. Steve had felt his heart clench at the sight, but he knew Iron Man couldn’t die yet. Hell, Tony Stark had a habit of surviving near death experiences and the man would definitely not allow himself to be killed by ‘lesser’ technology. He was better than that - Steve could hear those exact words coming from the engineer’s mouth.

The rest of the Avengers Initiative were doing very heavy damage to ‘The Mother’ and its horde. Hulk had jumped on ‘The Mother’, roaring as he began ripping off sheets of metal and smashing through its circuits. It flailed wildly, attempting to throw off the green rage-beast - but it only made him angrier. He grabbed cables and wires, shredding through them like they were nothing.

Thor let out a triumphant cry, Mjolnir raised in the air he swung down on the mother-bot, lightning erupting from the sky and striking the bots around them. The bots didn’t know what hit them as electricity surged through their bodies - too much so that their circuits began to combust as they reached well over capacity.

The A.I.M. agent overlooking the assault had made a run for it - a terrible idea, because once Black Widow had a visual of her prey, it was only a matter of time before they were captured and in S.H.I.E.L.D.’s not-too accommodating interrogation room. They wouldn’t even have the pleasure to attempt to munch on a pill before Natasha would have her legs around their neck and make them taste floor in a matter of seconds. Which is precisely what she did - the poor bastard didn’t stand a chance.

\---

"Ugh...I was not expecting that." Tony groaned as he stirred from the moment of unconsciousness - he probably was suffering from a concussion, but he’d have to check that later. Even with the vibranium absorbing a majority of the force, the impact had hit him pretty hard. Well, he was pushed back, into a building, and another. Probably three or five buildings or so -he wasn’t really counting, you could say he was enjoying the ride maybe?-, the blast was pretty huge.

“JARVIS, put all the power we have in the thrusters. Let’s get out of here.”

“Sir, unfortunately the initiation of the final protocol has depleted the suit’s power. We are currently running on emergency generators.” Great. This was excellent. Tony looked around, he’d been in worse situations, but he really didn’t like the idea of not being able to move under all the weight. Tony lay his head against the rubble and looked up at what was left of the ceiling. "How do I get myself into these kind of situations?" He asked himself. He was stuck playing the waiting game. He hated waiting, it was long and boring and he could not entertain himself long enough for the life of him.

He heard a crunch next to him and turned his head to the direction of the noise. To his relief, it was Hawkeye. “There’s a sight for sore eyes, mind getting me out of here Legolas? I’m kind of, having a little trouble breathing-moving in general?”

A quick flash of concern appeared in the marksman’s eyes as he reached for his comm. “I’ve got a visual, Cap, he’s alive, I’ve found him, but it doesn’t look too good,” he said into the headset before letting it dangle off his ear. “You know, you’re one lucky bastard.”

“Luck has nothing to do with it, Hawkeye, it’s skill and intelligence,” he retorted, trying to move again. He shook his head and blinked furiously. He had to keep the conversation going - Tony could feel himself clocking out.

“Well, can skill and intelligence help you out of there?” Hawkeye seemed to get the same idea, and verbal boxing with the marksman was almost as fun as boxing with JARVIS. But the AI was keeping quiet, conserving the little energy they had left. The faceplate of his Iron Man helmet flipped up and Tony shot Clint an unamused look. “Way to kick a guy when he’s down. You’re enjoying yourself, aren’t you?”

“Fuck yeah, it’s not every day Tony Stark’s at your mercy,” Clint smirked before leaning over the edge of the building. “On a serious note, Captain America is on his way. So, just stay awake,” Hawkeye said firmly, pulling back his bow and taking down a few robots that had escaped from the rest of the Avengers team.

“Oh, hey, yeah that’s just great. You know I’ve probably traumatised him with all these near death experiences. Speaking of which, I never really got that day off...” He stifled a yawn, the dizzy feeling was creeping back and his eyelids were starting to get a little heavy. “You know when I get out of here, I want a drink.”

“You might have some issues if it’s the Balvenie you want.”

“...You’re a bad person, you know that? It’s one thing to kick a man while he’s down, it’s another to take his favourite scotch.”

“It tastes good with cola.”

There was a pause. Tony’s eyes snapped open and his jaw dropped. “No. You... you...no.”

Now, Tony Stark was a fairly rational man, he prided himself on being cool-headed most of the time business was involved - or so he liked to think. Hell, he learnt he had to play nice to these people, learnt about ‘sharing’ and the whole ‘mi casa su casa’ thing that came with the Avengers staying in Stark Tower (because the ‘Avengers Mansion’ was still under refurbishment). However, he under no circumstances would tolerate getting his things taken from him, procured and used in the most... He shuddered. It was just wrong. However, before he could formulate any plans to teach the marksman a lesson on scotch etiquette, Captain America jumped into his line of vision.

“Stark!”

Tony looked relieved. “Captain, how nice of you to drop by. Pleasantries aside though, mind using your super-soldier strength to get me out of here? I’m feeling like deep frying some poultry right now.”

Hawkeye shook his head, giving Tony the ups before he whispered something in Steve’s ear. Captain America nodded, muttering something in return. Tony did not approve, and was mildly concerned that he couldn’t exactly focus on what they were saying. He did notice however the way the two of them tensed slightly.

“Alright, Stark, anything we have to worry about before we get you out of here?” Steve asked, taking a step forward, eyebrows quirking into a frown for a split moment before unslinging his shield. Yeah, neither of them had a good poker face, something was definitely up. But Tony decided to play along for now, he really wanted to get out of there.

“Aside from a mild concussion, nope,” he answered slowly, his body itching to get out as he lifted his head, watching as Hawkeye began to get rid of the smaller pieces of debris to make way for Captain America’s shield strike. “I’d get myself out but...I’m out of juice.”

The Iron Man faceplate snapped closed and moments later he heard the sound of the shield striking the concrete. As soon as he felt the pressure on him disappear as the slabs were thrown aside, he breathed a sigh of relief and forced himself to sit up. “Well, that was easy.” He said as he took Steve’s arm and stood up. “Good work guys, job well done - seriously though, proper intel would be nice. I do not want that to happen again.” He staggered slightly, feeling the rush of blood go to his head and almost fell on Steve. Perhaps he had gotten up too fast...Then without warning, the interface on his HUD flickered briefly.

Steve suddenly grabbed his shoulders, concern written all over his face. “You alright Tony?” He asked. His voice began to warp slightly, getting distant as if Tony’s ears had popped. The engineer’s vision began to blur, and before he fell into unconsciousness he saw a flash - Hawkeye grabbing his bow, Captain America’s eyes widening and then something behind them, a shadow with a grin.

Shit.

***

When Tony regained consciousness, he was happy to see that he wasn’t in a hospital or at S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters. but rather in his not-so-humble abode. What he wasn’t so happy to see - but unsurprised to see - were the unimpressed looks on the faces of his team. The thought was getting quite repetitive, but he really was in trouble.

Seeing them glaring at him with folded arms, he began to understand just how terrifying it must be and how many balls you had to have to go toe-to-toe with the Avengers. Being at the mercy of two master assassins, a super-soldier, a god of thunder and the HULK, you didn’t want to be at the receiving end of their wrath. He almost felt pity for the villains they had taken out - almost.

Before they spoke, before they could do anything, he raised his hands in the air defensively. “Okay, so I may not have been entirely honest with you guys.” He paused for a moment and took a deep breath. “...Here’s the thing...”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The jig is up, Tony’s got to tell them what’s happening. The only problem is he’s got no idea what exactly is going on. It’s now up to the team to try and find out this mystery sickness before something Tony finally snaps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to my betas three!

“I uh...” He pushed himself up from the bed into a sitting position, wincing a little bit as he felt the aches in his muscles; which, given the circumstances he wasn’t surprised about. Gaining a small amount of height he felt significantly better - it didn’t seem like he was entirely at their mercy now that he wasn’t lying down. “I have no idea,” he continued honestly. 

  
“Tony, this isn’t fu-” Steve began as he folded his arms and took a step closer to the man, unimpressed by his response. There it was again, it seemed that they were temporarily on a first name basis.   
  
“You know,” Tony interjected, voice heightened slightly. Seriously, why didn’t people believe him? He was a relatively honest man. Just because he had a history of keeping things to himself... okay, that may have been it. “It may be hard to believe, I  _know_  it shocks even me but sometimes I have no idea what’s going on.”   
  
The team didn’t look like they believed him. Sighing he leant forward slightly. “Look, what do you want me to say? I’ve done every test, both physical and psychological, and there’s been nothing.” At least, nothing he was willing to share with them. Nightmares? Please, he had his pride - even if they were clawing into his conscious world. If they knew... he would not be allowed to live it down.  
  
“No, no, I don’t think that’s it,” Bruce said, hands wringing each other as he took a step forward, gaining the attention of their little circle. “There’s something more, isn’t there?” He asked, a curious but concerned look in his eyes. Crap, this was what Tony was afraid of. He mentally wondered why real-life abort buttons didn’t exist for moments like these.   
  
“Yeah, Banner’s right, if you needed to run tests then there has to be something strange going on,” Steve nodded.  
  
“Aye! ‘Tis most strange, my friend, to bring up such information if it was not of great importance!” Thor agreed. “Tell us, what plagues your mind?”   
  
Tony gave them a look, staying silent. The two assassins looked at each other before Natasha spoke. “Mr Stark is exhibiting his normal quote ‘lone gunslinger mentality’ unquote,” she informed them. Her eyebrows quirked up as she looked over at the man, head inclining ever so slightly.  
  
Tony shot her a cool look. “Never should have hired you,” he said to her.   
  
“Never should have fallen for it,” she answered back, her lips curling slightly into a small smile that made Clint grin. “But it’s okay, Stark, it’s not like you’re the only one. Now, are you going to tell us what’s going on, or am I going to have to use my Russian-learnt charms?” There was a challenging look in her eyes that Tony didn’t like.   
  
Tony held eye contact with the femme fatale for a brief moment before looking away to search for the closest tablet. Terrifying, this woman was absolutely terrifying. Ideally, he wished he was in his workshop, but he wasn’t about to let the entire team go down there so easily. Banner perhaps, the others - no way. Things would get taken or broken, and Dummy would probably (somehow) short-circuit from being overwhelmed by the presence of more than two organics.   
  
“JARVIS, hit the lights.”   
  
“Shall I project the view on the eastern wall, Sir?”  
  
“Why not?” Tony responded, the tablet suddenly switching to the usual JARVIS-blue. Symbols on the screen began to quickly change from the simple qwerty-keyboard to mathematical symbols and shorthand that Tony normally used in his workshop - this was better, much better. He began to type, looking at the giant windows. The view of Manhattan disappearing as it began to change into a somewhat simplified and friendlier ‘oh, you’re not a genius too?’ version of Tony’s workshop-interface. The man smirked slightly, able to see the awe in their faces - especially Steve’s - he never got tired of that look in people’s eyes. Yes, he was an attention seeking narcissist, he wasn’t going to deny it.   
  
He leant back on the headboard of the bed and clicked his fingers. Immediately the files began to spread across the screen. “As you can see, perfectly normal,” he said to them, getting relaxed. “JARVIS has run the tests, and I put my utmost faith in his abilities.”  
  
“As always, Sir, your confidence warms my circuitry.”   
  
“Please tell me you’re not flirting with a machine, Stark,” Barton inquired, frowning and slightly disturbed.   
  
“I refuse to dignify that question with an answer,” he replied, smirking and folding his arms, glancing briefly at the command board. “Anyways, back to business.”   
  
“Isn’t this an xkcd comic?” Banner asked, unable to hide a smile as he walked over to an image titled ‘Radiation Dose Chart’. It displayed a series of red, green and orange squares highlighting approximate radiation doses.   
  
“Maybe, but it does highlight my point,” Tony argued. He looked at the mildly confused faces of the rest of his team. Ah, that’s right. He had to put this into normal-people-speak. “Alright, seeing as no one wants to do their homework...” He made a sweeping motion and all sorts of scientific papers disappeared from view. “Quick summary. I’m thinking whatever’s going on has something to do with gamma radiation.”   
  
“These are the average exposure rates of  _normal_  people, subject to background slash natural radiation is around 3-4 millisieverts. For a better understanding, refer to xkcd.” He swiped the screen of the tablet and continued. “These are the exposure rates for people who regularly fly both domestically and internationally, approximately 20 millisieverts ... and here,” he slid the graph aside onto another, “are our exposure rates. Excluding Bruce, we’re not too bad given our day job.” The graphs showed a bar for each member of the Avengers Initiative, with Bruce, Thor and himself having the highest rates of exposure.   
  
“Thor, obviously travelling from realm to realm has a significantly high exposure given all that cosmic radiation he’s subject to, Banner … self explanatory, and … me.” The other files moved to the side-bar, Tony’s own statistics taking up most of the screen. He placed the tablet on the bedside table, his free hand tapping on his arc reactor. “So what do you think?” He asked Banner.   
  
“I’m going to need to run my own tests. Can you send me your data?” Banner asked, putting his glasses on and looking intensely at the images before him. He turned slightly to look at Tony. “No offense, Tony, but not telling us really wasn’t your best idea.”   
  
“Sorry, Bruce, can’t help it. I’m the king of bad ideas, remember?” he replied with a weak smile. “And come down to the workshop, I’ve got plenty more stuff there. Hard-copy data.”   
  
Bruce couldn’t help but chuckle, smiling a little. “Again I don’t mean to offend you Tony, but … you should leave gamma radiation research to the specialists. I’ll collect my own data.”   
  
“Ouch. Is that a smirk? You’re smirking, aren’t you? Bruce, I’m shocked! I thought we were friends.”  
  
The physicist raised his arms defensively. “Hey, as impressive as your correlations are, this isn’t your field of expertise. You stick to advanced circuitry and orbital dynamics, I’ll stick to nuclear physics and sub-atomic particles.”   
  
“And we’ll meet in the middle when engineering and particle physics want to hold hands. Alright, point, I’ll let you have that.” Tony nodded, flashing another smile - bigger this time. He felt a tiny bit better, Bruce had that kind of effect.  
  
“Well, let me just get my lab ready, we need to get this done as quick as we can,” Banner quickly said, nodding at Tony before turning and leaving.   
  
“I’ll be there soon, honey,” he said, earning an amused look from the man before he disappeared through the doors. Tony turned his attention at the remaining Avengers, “Well, I guess family meeting’s over.”   
  
“Aye! I shall take my leave! There are duties to be performed in Asgard regarding my brother!” Thor boomed as he walked towards the bedridden man and clapped a hand on his shoulder. Oh yeah, the man had his own problems to deal with. “My friend, I hope this ailment is cured quickly! For you, the Man of Iron, are a worthy warrior!” He raised his arm, gesturing his farewell to them all before leaving.   
  
“Stark.” Clint said.  
  
Tony, scowled slightly, half out of bed. Turning to look at the three Avengers teammates, he was surprised. They looked both curious and wary of him. That was different.   
  
“We’ve reason to believe you’ve been compromised,” Natasha informed him, her lips pursing tight and an icy facade setting on her face, though the concern never really left her eyes. Aww, she cared, Tony thought.   
  
“And what gave you that idea?” He asked, testing his legs and twisting his torso left and right before getting up. Despite the fact he had gotten knocked out, he received minimum damage. Excellent! The vibranium plating was totally worth it! Speaking of which ...  
  
“Oh, and uh, don’t suppose my armor or any part of that bot was salvageable?” Tony inquired, a glimmer of hope in his eyes. He mentally began to determine how exactly he would approach dissecting the mother-bot JARVIS hadn’t been able to completely analyse its properties and abilities, after all ...  
  
“Tony, this isn’t funny.” Steve did not look amused as he said it, his voice slightly louder and sharp. “You can think about the suit and the robot later. Right now we need to know what’s going on.”   
  
“You know, you may have noticed I practically had a building on me? And I had a concussion?”   
  
“Your eyes glowed,” Clint interjected before Steve could say anything. “It was only for a fraction of a moment, but they  _glowed_.”   
  
Tony’s eyes widened, slightly disturbed about what Clint had just said. Judging by the alarmed looks on Steve and even Natasha’s faces, he wasn’t the only one. The short silence between them all was enough for him to collect himself. He raised a brow. “Wait, are you serious?” Shaking his head, he began to walk over to them. “Look, I don’t know what you saw, and ...” he scratched the back of his head briefly, “at this point, we don’t know what’s going on. But whatever it is, at this current point in time, it’s really nothing. I haven’t had any performance issues.” He smirked a little at the slight roll of Natasha’s eyes. “I’m fine,” he reassured them.   
  
There was another pause before he continued. “You know we were in building rubble, right? Loose electric cables flying everywhere, my slightly busted-up suit - it’s a trick of the light. Refraction, reflection, optics in general. And let’s be honest here, would you guys really want some physics 101 to explain why my eyes were, in fact, not glowing? You’ve got better things to do. I’ve got better things to do.”   
  
Barton scowled and Tony shrugged. They didn’t look like they were convinced. Still, Tony had to try. He hated the whole ‘being serious’ thing. Not to mention the looks they were giving him. He was starting to feel a bit guilty - and Tony feeling guilty usually ended up in him trying to fix problems whilst disregarding the dangers it would put him in. “Look, trust me on this. I know what I’m doing.” Another pause. “Now, if you don’t mind …” he motioned to the door. “This isn’t exactly helping with the recovery process.”   
  
Although none of them seemed all too happy with the decision, they left, glancing sideways at him before disappearing. Barton was pissed (which was a given, Tony did just insult his vision), Natasha looked like she was dissecting his soul with her eyes, and Steve … well ... he looked a bit like a kicked puppy. Tony felt the niggle of his conscience telling him to be nicer to Cap, before a voice shattered through his thoughts.   
  
 _“What a shame, and here I thought you were going to tell them all about our little secret.”_  The shadows began to dance strangely in the light. He swung around, as they slowly began to coalesce and take form.  
  
Tony stiffened, his eyes flickered in the shadow’s direction before he looked away. _‘This isn’t happening. This isn’t happening,’_  he repeated in his mind. Scrunching his face, he pinched the bridge of his nose. “God, I must have hit my head hard,” he mumbled.  
  
 _“You know, try as you might, you can’t win this little game.”_   The thing smiled creepily, the white grin contrasting with its body. It floated in the air and landed softly on a nearby bench. The creature rested its head in the palm of its hands, the grin widening as it spoke, its voice eerie. _“After all, I’m in this sorry excuse for a grapefruit you call your head, Tony. Been here for a while, and my, oh my, isn’t it interesting.”_    
  
Tony clenched his jaw, his hands had already balled into fists, and his nails dug into the palm of his hands so hard he wouldn’t be surprised if he’d broken the skin. He staggered slightly as images pierced his mind. His father. The alcohol. Afghanistan. Stane. Palladium poisoning. The images began to get more intense, as if he was pulled into the memories themselves.   
  
It cackled.  _“How long are you going to keep this up? You know this little barrier, this resistance, is futile. I see the cracks … it’s only a matter of time bef-”_  
  
“Tony?”  
  
He heard something fall and shatter to the ground. Tony’s head snapped up and he turned to the voice. Banner frowned slightly. “You alright?” He asked.   
  
Blinking rapidly, Tony realised he was supporting himself using the bench. “Yeah,” he managed to say, his voice slightly strained as he pushed himself up. His eyes trailing to the pieces of glass on the floor, the little ornament beyond repair. “Legs aren’t working as of yet. Give it time, though.” Fixing himself up and walking towards Banner, he forced a smile. “Let’s get this over and done with.”

\---

“I should go talk to him,” Steve decided out loud as he wrapped up the remaining pizza and placed it on the bench. Yes, pizza again - it seemed to be a growing tradition among the Avengers crew to celebrate victory with fast food.   
  
“Not to undermine your authority, Captain, but I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Natasha commented before resting her elbows on the table and leaning forward, picking olives off Clint’s pizza and popping them into her mouth. “Trust me when I say this, but your methods won’t work on him.” Glancing up at Steve and seeing the surprised look on his face, she continued. “Not only does Stark hold his cards close to his chest, he hides some in his sleeves. Putting it simply, when facing Stark, not only do you have to be good at poker, but you have to be  _excellent_  at catching a cheat.” Natasha took a paper towel and wiped her fingers before standing up, maintaining her calm voice. “He’ll lie, he’ll use any sleight of hand he knows to distract you from the truth … and distinguishing between truth and showmanship isn’t part of your specific skill set.”  
  
“So you’re saying you’re playing a game to get inside his head?” Steve asked, looking uneasy.   
  
“I’ve done it before,” Natasha replied, her expression cool for a brief moment. “But no.” Her lips pursed slightly before they quirked into a small smile as the rest of her facial features softened. “That won’t be the case this time...I’ll be able to get through to him.”   
  
Looking a little relieved, Steve nodded, taking the plate of pizza and extending it to Natasha. “Well, if you do get through to him, thanks. And uh...here, give this to him. I doubt he’ll come out of his workshop for a while.” Natasha cast a knowing look at his direction, smiling before taking the plate and turning to leave.   
  
Clint smirked, eyeing the exchange and Natasha’s reaction with intrigue. “Ohhh, I was wondering why you kept saving food, given your ridiculous metabolism and everything. But … I see.”   
  
Stave raised a brow. “... See what?” He asked.   
  
Getting up from his seat, he patted Steve’s shoulder. “Don’t worry Cap, your secret’s safe with me.”   
  
Mystified, Steve watched Barton as he skipped out of the room... _“_ _Wait, what?!”_

\---

__

_Finished with my woman ‘cause she couldn’t help me with my mind_

_People think I’m insane because I’m frowning all the time_

_All day long I think of things but nothing seems to satisfy_

_Think I’ll lose my mind if I don’t find something to pacify_

_Can you help me occupy my brain? Oh yeah!_

_I need someone to show me the things in life that I can’t find_

_I can’t see the things that make true happiness I must b-_

  
“Sir.”  
  
“First you, then Pepper, then Rhodey - really, when are people going to listen to me? I don’t like it when people turn off my music,” Tony mumbled, his eyes remaining on the salvaged parts of ‘The Mother’. “Ugh, this is tragic. Dummy, move up. Up.”    
  
“Sir, someone seems to be overriding my protocols.”   
  
Stopping and putting down his soldering iron, Tony looked to the door of his workshop. “Ms. Romanoff.”   
  
“Mr. Stark.”   
  
“Why is it that S.H.I.E.L.D. agents make it their own personal mission to break into my house? You know it gives JARVIS a headache,” he huffed, attempting to focus on the tech at hand. “Dummy, you’re ... no, Dummy. Stop.” Casting a glance back at the assassin, he noticed that she was unfortunately not in a gaming mood. Arms folded, eyes looking directly at him and in an immovable stance - yeah, she wasn’t going anywhere. “Can I help you with something?”   
  
“You know, for someone trying to stop everyone from worrying, you’re really doing a lousy job.” Ah, so very Natasha, getting straight to the point.    
  
“...Let me guess, Cap sent you?” He asked, putting a gentle hand on the robot and pushing it aside. Dummy whirred affectionately, its arm sliding against his hand as if it were a pet wanting human contact.  
  
“He didn’t have to, but … he’s worried about you, Stark, we all are.”   
  
He felt her presence beside him and the man couldn’t help but tense just a little in surprise. Tony had always found it amazing -not to mention slightly terrifying- how light she was on her feet. Especially in heels. Because really, how was it that she could do that all the time and in heels. Unlike Pepper, who he could hear a mile away.   
  
“You all really need to find something better to do th-”  
  
“Seriously? You’re really going to try to play this game with me?” she cut in, gaining his full attention once more. He felt the proverbial flames of her rage lick at his feet. But they dissipated as quickly as they appeared. Tony’s grip on the soldering iron tightened slightly as he attempted to avert his gaze again.   
  
“You might not trust me as far as you can throw me, but believe it or not, Tony, I’m trying to help you.” Natasha’s lips pursed slightly, the way they seemed to do whenever she was talking about or approaching a rather delicate situation. “I’ve … had similar experiences to what you’re going through.”  
  
“What? Higher-than-normal levels of exposure to gamma radiation?”  
  
“Being compromised. To be without control of something you should have, to be unmade...having something, someone take your brain out and play, pull you out and put something else back in...” There was a slight stiffness in her voice, as if the woman were wrestling with the memories of her own demons. “It ... happens with the job,” she continued, her features hardening slightly before she looked at him again, pursed her lips slightly and smiled. “But the good thing is, thankfully with a team like this, you’re not alone Tony. And I’m not just saying that.”  
  
Her words definitely had an effect on him, unpleasant at first, reverberating through his body in large waves. But as the oscillations began to get smaller and smaller, the hope she was giving him seemed to somehow fortify into something ... solid. Something he could hold on to.    
  
“I-”  
  
“Tony, you know better than to lie to me.”   
  
“…Point,” he said, turning to the broken circuit boards and scraps of metal on his workbench, only to realise he was suffering from poor damping. An engineer’s worst nightmare - trembling hands.  _Well, this wasn’t going to work anymore._  Looking briefly back at Natasha, he’d have to give her kudos for being so patient. After all, she was still here and despite everything he was saying - she still hadn’t wrapped those thighs around his neck and killed or knocked him out. Then again a part of him wouldn’t really have an issue with that, except for the whole pain thing. And possibly Dummy having a freak out.   
  
It was then he noticed the look in her eyes. That look - one he was very familiar with and one that he didn’t like at all. It was like she was some kind of computer virus, burrowing into his systems in a lucrative manner, finding any kind of crevice in his system to get in and steal information. He had to disrupt her internal servers.  
  
“Alright, stop. Seriously I feel like you’re doing some kind of DDOS attack on me,” he said, raisings his hands up defensively.   
  
“You’re the one making me the villain here, Tony,” Natasha replied gently. “I’m telling you that you don’t have to do this alone and I know what it’s like, we - the  _team_ , know what it’s like and we just want to help you.” She paused again, letting the words sink in once more. “You just have to let us. Trust me, it’s easier for you and I if you cooperate and I don’t have to resort to other methods.”   
  
“You’re terrifying sometimes, you know that?”   
  
“So you’ve said, a lot.”  
  
Tony sighed, he didn’t need to run any more mental algorithms to know he’d lost. “So,” Tony, being Tony and not freaking out over serious health complications, continued. “What would you do? If you know ... you were experiencing ...” He paused slightly, hesitating - but Natasha seemed to understand. “Some form of minor post-traumatic-stress, nightmares and whatnot?”  _Ah, shit._  Did he really just blurt that out?  
  
“Nightmares?” Natasha repeated, eyebrow raised.   
  
He stiffened a little, slightly in shock. “Did I say nightmares? I didn’t mean that, I meant, well, you know, general results and symptoms of PTSD,” Tony replied, feeling rather uncomfortable in the fact he was having some kind of heart to heart with Natasha. This was on a whole new level of weird. Then again, she was an Avenger. So he didn’t exactly have to worry about her running off to tell Fury that he’d gone a little bit nuts. “So how do you ...” He frowned a little, thinking of an appropriate word. “Cope?”  
  
“I find stable things in my life, and focus on those,” she answered. “I go to the shooting range with Clint, spar, do things in places where I feel nothing can go wrong.”   
  
“You do any ballet?” He dared ask, unable to smile a little. If these were ‘stable things’ in her life, well, the woman was nuts, but he had to appreciate her.   
  
“That’s classified information, Mr Stark. And using your own words, you don’t have the clearance.” She responded, smiling a little at him, that slight cold and calculating assassin look flickering momentarily from her eyes.  _Well, at least he tried_ _._  “But,” she shrugged slightly. “Go see Pepper, see Colonel Rhodes, do something with people that care about you and just don’t focus on yourself for once.”   
  
“You’re asking for a lot.”   
  
“I’m not asking for the impossible.” Natasha shrugged again, smiling again.   
  
“... Thanks,” he said honestly, feeling a little surprised that he did in fact feel a little bit better - even if the whole process was unnerving. Gravity didn’t seem like it was over 3Gs now.   
  
“No problem. I’ve got your back, I want to be confident in knowing you’ve got mine. I’d rather not have my success rate drop because somebody on the team is doing something self-destructive.” She smirked a little.   
  
“Oh, ouch. But hey, I’m Tony Stark, you need to factor in that I’m a special kind of variable in the equation. Recalibrate your statistics.”   
  
Natasha smiled, amused before she started to walk to the exit of his workshop. “I don’t recalibrate my statistics for anyone, Stark. Oh, and please, play nice with the Captain, we wouldn’t want Coulson to come over here, upset that his hero’s being bullied by you.”   
  
“You know me, Romanoff, I never play nice. But you do have a point, I wouldn’t put it past him to actually taser me. Seriously, what is with S.H.I.E.L.D. and hiring people on the brink of aggression?”   
  
“Goodbye, Mr. Stark, and remember, we’re here for you, whether you like it or not.”  
  
“I’ll keep that in mind, Ms. Romanoff.” His eyes glanced briefly at a shadow that darted by his peripherals before he focused on watching the woman leave. As soon as she was gone, he put down his screwdriver, his hands tingling from the excessive force he was using on pushing it into his palms. “Pepper. Pepper and Rhodey. JARVIS, get them on the line.”

 

\---

Natasha’s advice did not fall on deaf ears, and the rest of the team seemed to know to lay off asking him too many questions. He’d have to upgrade Natasha’s living conditions after that (not that they weren’t spectacular already). 

  
The only problem with it was that Rhodey and Pepper had their own lives to live. Which was cool, they’d already said a number of times that he wasn’t the centre of their universe. Tony didn’t mind, and they didn’t really know why or how it happened, but dinner on Fridays had somehow become a thing, give or take business meetings and missions overseas - and if they were busy, well, he always hung out with Steve. The good news was that it did seem to kind of work - and Tony took advantage of it heavily, regardless of how exhausted he could be.   
  
The bad news was, well, unfortunately it didn’t last for all that long.   
  
Tony was sitting with Rhodey and Pepper at a small pizza joint in Manhattan. It was a hole-in-a-wall kind of place, good food, good vibes, very quiet. The fact that Tony booked the place just for them meant there weren’t many people bothering them for an autograph or a picture with Tony Stark, none actually - this place was awesome. It was nice, and Tony loved the pizza and the company.   
  
“You know Tony, you really need to fix your diet,” Pepper said, seemingly comfortable regardless of her business attire and heels. She still managed to look graceful and a little bit adorable as she cut a piece of pizza, struggling slightly with the epic amounts of cheese.  
  
“I do not see you complaining at all,” Tony retorted, grinning as he poured himself more wine. “Besides, look, there’s … onions and olives on this. I’ll have you know that coffee is a food group, and pizza is a vegetable.”   
  
Rhodey laughed, he looked like he definitely needed a wind-down. The poor man looked exhausted from his adventures as War Machine. “I dunno, Tony, you keep eating like this, you probably won’t be able to pass physical and be Iron Man.”   
  
“Not gonna happen, I usually get yanked out of the workshop and go sparring with Cap.”  
  
“And by sparring you mean getting your ass kicked?” Rhodey asks, amused at the idea. He glanced over at Pepper, who hid a small smile with a napkin.  
  
“Hey!” Tony didn’t look all too amused.   
  
“Look, I’m just saying, he’s a super soldier  and  Captain America,” the other man said defensively, though still not wiping the grin off his face.   
  
“Undermine my physical prowess again, Rhodey, and I won’t let you visit him. I know you’re a fanboy. Don’t lie to me, we were roomies back in the MIT days. I saw your collection.”   
  
“Which was only overshadowed by yours, Tony.” Rhodey smirked. Tony tossed him an incredulous look. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” He responded, focusing on the task at hand: refuel.   
  
“Oh c’mon. The Captain America wallpaper, the box where you kept all your tools. The ‘asshole’ jar.”   
  
“Asshole jar?” Pepper looked curious. “Do I want to know?” She asked. “Or is this one of those boys will be boys, I don’t want to know what you two got up to in college kinds of things?”   
  
“It’s not that bad, see, if ever Tony was an ass-” Rhodey began, before being interrupted by a slightly offended (but entertained) engineer.  
  
“If ever any of us were-”  
  
“But it was mainly you.”   
  
“Point.”  
  
“Anyways, if anyone of us did something that we thought was....a bad move. We’d put money in the jar - a Captain America jar.” Rhodey explained.   
  
“And you had to do it, or else face Cap giving you that judgemental stare that screamed freedom and the American way.” Tony laughed, looking over at Rhodey and Pepper who were giving him looks. “Oh what, come on, I was what? Seventeen?”  
  
Pepper shook her head. “And now you’re living with the man himself.”  
  
“Well, Rogers and the rest of the ‘team’,” Tony corrected. “Two master assassins, a giant green rage monster slash genius at nuclear physics and occasionally a Norse thunder God. You’d think Stark Tower would have exploded by now.”   
  
“It hasn’t?” Pepper asked, looking slightly surprised. Tony and explosives seemed to go hand in hand. The idea of it not didn’t compute. In fact, the idea of the Avengers going domestic was difficult to picture.   
  
“Well...” Tony paused. “There are at points, you know, minor issues involving collateral damage. Bruce hulking out, said Asgardian making his thundery appearance, us ... generally on movie night.” He chuckled again before pinching the bridge of his nose. God, he really should have slept a bit more, or at least taken some aspirin with his coffee. The little twinge in the back of his head getting a bit more difficult to ignore.  
  
“Can I take your plate?” the waitress asked, her voice a little bit odd as her hand reached towards Tony.  
  
“Yeah, thank-” Tony froze, his eyes on the woman’s hand. Spores sprouting from her skin as it slowly turned into a dark, navy blue.  _Don’t look. Don’t look at her face._  He tried to tell himself, but there was no denying the pull as he slowly, seemingly unwillingly, turned his gaze towards her. His eyes trailed from her arm to her face. It was dark, with an oil-like sheen and covered in spores. Its eyes glowed golden, and its lips contorted into a sinister smile.  _“_ _Aww, you were doing so well, but you know, you can’t keep me away that easily, Tony,”_  he could sense it saying.   
  
“Tony, are you okay?” Pepper asked. Her hand reached towards his, concerned, but Tony pulled away. Stumbling a little as he got up from his chair, he backed away. The effects of the hallucinations were accelerating by the second as the line between fiction and reality was slowly being erased.  
  
 _“You know, I have a question for you, what makes you think that this is all real?”_   The thing asked him.  _“You know, I could just be making this all up. Rhodey, Pepper, they’re just illusions, characters in this little game to make everything just that little bit more entertaining.”_    
  
He wouldn’t lie if he said that that had freaked him out or made him question what was happening at that point in time. He mentally swore.   
  
Rhodey got up, the worried look on his face hardening as Pepper backed away from them. With his arm, he pushed the other woman behind him. “Tony, Tony, calm down,” he said, his arms slightly raised, extended in front of his chest.   
  
Tony couldn’t think straight, his eyes focused on the the woman behind the Colonel. The grin hadn’t left her face. “Rhodey,” Tony winced, pinching between his eyes again. The pain in his head pulsating. This was all getting to be too much.  
  
“Tony. Put the knife down.” He said more forcefully. His gaze turned slightly to Pepper before speaking, voice softer. “Pepper, get everyone out of here, slowly. No sudden movements.”   
  
Pepper nodded, her movements slow as she gestured to the men and women in the restaurant to head to the exit. Tony didn’t care about them, his main focus was the thing. The thing Rhodey seemed to be protecting, followed, making Tony tense. No. It was not going to go with Pepper. He was not going to let Pepper get in any more danger than he already put her through. Whether she was real or not, he was going to protect her.   
  
Tony lunged at the thing. Instinct had taken over. But he was met with a resisting force, tackled by Rhodey into the ground, crashing into the chair and table in the process. He heard a clang, the knife escaping from his grip from surprise. There were screams, hurried steps rushing out and War Machine yelling for them to get away, for Pepper to call the Avengers.   
  
Tony struggled for a bit, the other man was strong. But unfortunately for him, Tony had been sparring with the Captain and Natasha. The Captain was stronger, heavier - he’d gotten used to that, and Natasha? Natasha was quicker. He had learnt through all those gruelling hours of being thrown, being punched and tasting dirt what an uneven fight was like. Rhodey was good, definitely better, but Tony had the element of surprise and knowledge from superior fighters.   
  
In a swift movement he had gotten the better of the man, floored him with a combination of a move he learnt from the Captain, as well as using Rhodey’s weight against him - Natasha’s specialty. He heard Rhodey wheeze, but his mind was elsewhere. He had to find the woman. He made a run for it.

\---

Steve bolted upright, hearing the frantic voice of Pepper. “Pepper! Calm down, what- what’s going on?!” The groggy effects of just waking up dissipated instantaneously.   
  
“It’s, it’s Tony! I- I don’t know what happened. He just, one minute it was all fine, Rhodey, Tony and I having dinner and the next thing you know he’s gone insane! He just, he grabbed a knife! What’s been happening to him?! What’s wrong with him?!” She shrieked.   
  
“Did he hurt anyone?” Steve asked, feeling his chest tighten in fear.   
  
“Rhodey, he knocked War Machine out, that’s it. And then he just ran off! What is going on with him?!”   
  
“Alright, I’m coming to find him. Don’t worry, Pepper, I promise you this is all going to be alright. I’ll find him, I’ll take him home and we’ll explain everything, I promise,” he reassured her.  “Just make sure all the civilians are alright.”   
  
Turning to look at the command board he began to speak. “JARVIS? Are you there?”   
  
“Yes, Captain Rogers?” The AI replied.   
  
“I need to find Tony, there’s been an incident. Can tell me where he is?”   
  
“Unfortunately, Sir has asked to keep his location classified. You are not permitted with such information without reason.”   
  
“He’s in danger, JARVIS,” Steve said, mentally cursing.   
  
There was a brief pause, the ring of light dancing as if to show Jarvis was processing the information.   
  
“JARVIS, I know you’ve got your orders, but this is for Tony’s safety. You have to help,” the man pleaded.    
  
Another pause.   
  
“Primary function override: Subject: Location of Creating Unit Anthony E. Stark. Information being sent to your phone as we speak, Captain Rogers.”   
  
“Thank-you.”   
  
“Sir’s safety is my primary concern, Captain Rogers,” Jarvis put simply. “Whilst there are certain parameters I cannot cross, this is not one of them.”   
  
There was a beep and Steve looked at his phone. Tony and his location were presented on the map as two dots. Thankfully, he wasn’t far. Quickly getting changed, he bolted. 

\---

  
“I’m Anthony Stark, Iron Man, genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist. I will not lose myself to these stupid hallucinations,” he muttered, clutching his head. The sounds coming from his surroundings echoed, nearly bursting his ear drums. “I’m Anthony Stark, Iron man, genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist. I will not lose myself to these stupid hallucinations,” he repeated. He was shaking. He felt sick. He almost … oh god, he didn’t even want to think about it.   
  
“Tony? Is … oh my god Tony!” Footsteps rushed towards him, the sound booming with every step. Tony scrunched his eyes.  
  
“Get the fuck away from me,” he growled.   
  
“You’re gonna have to do a lot better than that,” the voice replied.   
  
Tony felt strong hands gripping his shoulders, hesitating for a brief moment, he looked up. Relief washed over his face as he saw Steve. Confusion flashed in his eyes before he looked around. “Steve? What-what the hell are you doing here? How the hell did you find me?!”   
  
The man smiled softly, showing Tony his phone, two lights blinking in their location. “I had a little help from JARVIS,” he answered. “See Tony, I’m not entirely useless when it comes to technology,” he added as he helped heave the man to his feet. Tony stumbled, his legs weak, but thankfully, the Captain caught him, his hands landing on Tony’s shoulders first before they slid around, giving him a tight hug.   
  
“Shit, Tony, you’re freezing!”   
  
“I’m fucked in the head,” Tony managed to say, not caring that he was in fact hugging Captain America - well, Captain America was hugging him. “I’m so fucked in the head, Steve,” he mumbled into the man’s chest. The pause between them allowed for Tony’s mind to go off into another tangent. Steve had good hugs. Rhodey had good hugs as well, but Rhodey wasn’t there. Actually, he didn’t know where anyone else was, apart from Steve. Steve was there and his hugs were just a little bit better.   
  
“Tell me something I don’t know,” Steve said, trying to calm the man down.   
  
Tony let out a little laugh. “You have no fucking idea, Rogers. I screwed up, badly. Fuck, I almost...”   
  
“Tony, for once don’t say anything. Just, come on, let’s go back to Stark Tower. You need to calm down and we need to get this mess sorted out.”   
  
“I almost killed someone,” Tony said, freezing, his voice serious as he looked away, pulling back from Steve.   
  
“The woman, at the pizza place. Just, fuck, something happened and I thought she turned into...something and...if Rhodey wasn’t there, if I hadn’t gotten into that tussle. I don’t know, hell, I don’t how I even got here!”   
  
“Tony, Tony you need to calm down.”   
  
“How can I calm down when I’ve almost killed someone?!” Tony cried out, trying to rip himself away. “Not a villain, not an alien, an innocent person! I-”   
  
“But you didn’t.” He interrupted, voice firm as he held onto Tony tight on the shoulders, looking him straight in the eye. “You didn’t, Tony,” he repeated. “That’s what matters now, that’s what you have to focus on. That’s what’s important.”   
  
“And what if I did?” Tony dared ask. “What if I snap? Unintentionally. Go darkside?”    
  
“I’ll be there to stop you. Now come on, Stark Tower. Now.”  
  
“Wait! You promise?” Tony asked, jerking them both to a stop by grabbing onto Steve’s arm.  
  
“... Will it make you feel better?” Steve asked, looking slightly alarmed.  
  
“Yes.”   
  
Steve hesitated. Whether Tony was in the right state of mind or not, this wasn’t something he would easily agree to.   
  
“Alright, Tony.”

**Author's Note:**

> Yay it’s done! Please be nice, I haven’t written fanfiction since I was like, twelve (well fourteen really) and creative writing isn’t exactly something us engineering students do on a regular basis (unless it’s 5 minutes before an assignment is due and you’re typing so fast the skin is coming off your fingers and you don’t even know if the bullshit you’re writing even makes sense).
> 
> Here’s some nerdy engineering materials facts for you...’The Mother’ is actually comprised of materials that are commonly used in aviation/aerospace (the titanium alloy being used/should be used for flight stabilisers for Valkyrie fighter jets and carbon fibre is used for nearly everything awesome and expensive).


End file.
